More Lobser Dreams

Today, I got video proof that somewhere in the world, 

I still have #STUFF. 

A locker full of Christmas decorations, baby books and the random nick knacks that define our lives. All piled in the trashed out stacks of chaos by people who could care less about the memories those boxes contain.


Just days ago, we were, finally, planning our trip back across the country to gather up our belonging and bring them our to our #NewHome. 


Now, with our vacation planned in amongst the likely probability on #Joblessness by the New Year, the question hangs heavy. Do we move the remainder of our belongs out here? Then, we can sit in quiet desperation with familiar ghosts and goblins, snowmen and Santa statues.


As weeks and months pass, the likelihood of this locker being one of the first things we stop paying for is high.


Perhaps the thought that we can still bring our boxes out, means I have not quite given up. With 12 million people in this area, surely there are other jobs to be had.


In just over four weeks, we'll know for sure what happens to our lives.


That gives us another seven months to find a new amazing #CaliforniaJob. Almost as much time as it took to find this one. Surely not an #ImpossibleTask?

I still have the dream of Christmases with my tree in all it sparkling glory, set up again in my life time. Or smaller dreams of birthdays where my youngest girls get presents. Four years is way too long since they have celebrated with actual gifts.

The fact that they understand no gifts will come, makes me saddest of all. They live with the bits and piece we have left our our middle class life. Reminders that we once did alright, with the hope that we may one day be back there again.

Yes, these are more #LobsterDreams!

So, for now, I will plan to return to Minnesota and pack up my things to move them to my new home. I don't quite yet have to acknowledge I may need that moving money to live on, if fears become reality and reality stretches us to that point where we break.

Keep Trudging On

Last week marked our 2 1/2 year anniversary of moving to California. Thirty months in the Golden State and we still feel like newbies. Today, my husband is attending company meetings to discuss the 'future' of the IT department. Yes, for the third time in 2 1/2 years, they are downsizing IT.


Who downsizes IT in 2014? That would Mitt Romney, of course. Or, at least his old company, Bain Capital.

 So what is Bain Capital?

Glassdoor review:

“Bain Capital brought in to sell company once layoffs complete”

Contract Manager Power Procurement (Current Employee)

sssssssss, CA

I have been working at ssssssssssssssssssssssss full-time for more than 3 years

Pros – descent salary, excellent benefits plan

Cons – Highly political, laying off top performers and keeping dead weight in management levels, don't quit a job to join this company as there is no future here and you might be laid off even if you are a top performer unless you are in the good ole boys club

Advice to Senior Management – all political, useless meetings and powerpoint presentations, Bain Capital is going to sell you off so goodbye!
No, I would not recommend this company to a friend – I'm not optimistic about the outlook for this company ~~~

We still struggle to put space between us and that never absent trapdoor that threatens to open and drop us back into a pit we won't recover from. Others our age, at this same company, are looking at retirement as an option, as opposed to being laid off.


That is not even a slight possibly in our case.


Everything we had was lost to the Bush recession. Our home and all the equity that went with it was lost when we were forced to sell or lose it at the very bottom of the housing market crash. The retirement savings we had kept us alive during that same time.


Now, we barely make from paycheck to paycheck, while still trying to pay off bills that keep us going when everything crashed down upon us. If it happens again, there won't be any severance. Although, that was never anything we received anyway, thank to co-signing on student loans.


The government took it all because the kids weren't paying them, we couldn't pay them, and then they took the money we were supposed to live on.


Thoughts filter through my mind like flour through a sifter. Some lumps stay stuck forever in places I can no longer get to. I helplessly watch as my husband considers the harsh possibility of yet another job hunt in his mid fifties. The earthquakes around us seem metaphoric to our lives.

We spent the past few days cleaning, hiking through the desert, practicing Spanish. Last night the girls cooked dinner to a full blown acapella rendition of "Frozen". 

And for the first time in a year and a half, I got a new pair of shoes. So, I may soon be homeless, but at least I won't be left barefooted, as well. 

As we wait and wonder...AGAIN, what the fates have in store for our little family, we keep trudging on the best we can.

“Until such time as the world ends, we will act as though it intends to spin on,” Nick Fury


Avengers Nick Fury by JPRart

In the meantime, we take advantage of those things we can, like the perks of family working at Disneyland. Seeing Captain America is definitely one of them.

"In case it's unclear, if you try to escape, if you so much as scratch that glass...30,000 feet straight down in a steel trap. You get how that works? Ant. Boot," Nick Fury

Supply and Demand

Last night, on Facebook, that place I love to despise, 'friends' were discussing why the minimum wage should NOT be raised. And yes, these were, once again, the same people who post 'Praise God' in every other post.


Their argument consisted of " if people want more money, they need to go to school and get more

skills, first." Which is, of course, an entirely different argument, all together. Raising the minimum wage for EVERYONE in minimum wage jobs is not the same as an individual going to community college and taking a class in Poodle Shampooing 101 so they can earn 25¢ more an hour.


With an increase in the basic minimum wage, they will still have the opportunity to take Walking the Dog 326 (Or Wokking the Dog 326, for those culinary folks) to increase their job-ability, because suddenly they can AFFORD to go to Community College and EAT TOO!

Basic Economics 101: when people people make more, they spend more. When people buy more, stores sell more. Suddenly, stores have to hire more people~MORE people with jobs~to fill shelves, run cash registers, bag food (yes, they still do that out here in California). More, more, more people to SPEND $$money$$! 


The economy gets better.


What is missing in their argument? Save the 'Let's keep the Poor, Poor, so our life feels better than theirs' sentiment. What happens if EVERY SINGLE PERSON goes to college, to trade school, starts their own business? The better yourself argument only works, if you assume there will always be the gutter people...


Those throw away people who will work our late night McDonalds drive thru windows and stock the Vons supermarket shelves over night.


What happens if everyone betters themselves? No more Joes handing us our Venti mocha cappuccinos, our lattes with an extra shot of espresso and our vanilla bean scones at the local Starbucks on the corner? 


That slave labor class, that can't make enough to live on, while working full time, backbreaking, soul-sucking jobs, while you walk past them unnoticed on your way to your cushy desk job, will disappear.  

With all the 'skilled laborers' searching for not enough jobs in the market positions, the former minimum wage positions will be emptied. Instead of paying people livable wages to fill these jobs--that need to be done--employers will be paying the few ordinary Joes left, twice what educated Joe makes, to hand Educated Joe his latte. 

Supply and demand. 

Wouldn't it be better if, instead of seeing people as lazy, which is ridiculous. Or needing to improve themselves, which is the same. People just, finally, started seeing EVERYONE as a valuable part of our world.

Then the king will say to those at his right hand, "Come, you that are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world; for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you gave me clothing, I was sick and you took care of me, I was in prison and you visited me." Matthew 25:34-36

To tithe or no to tithe

The guilt that is breed so completely into the most common of us Catholics, has not skipped me. So, breaching this topic, in particular, comes with that typical discomfort of taboo subjects. 

Philanthropy: The effort or inclination to increase the well-being of humankind, as by charitable aid or donations.

Telling people in a general call out to 'help your fellow man,' is much different than saying, "I did this and this and this, look at how great I am."
  
So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. Matthew 6:2 


So it goes with tithing to the Catholic church. The church has cute little envelopes with which the church tracked each parishioner's donations. I adamantly refused to use those envelopes. We used cash.


With totals published every week in the bulletin, it always felt more like a contest to me than anything else. Who is the most generous. Who will win a seat at the Holy Table of God? What I gave to the church was between me and God.
 
Now, when I hear someone say, "Our life is great because we give money to church," I hear trumpets go off. The implication that our life has suffered because we are not generous enough is incredibly condescending.


I try not to judge people, but when they judge me first, I think it is only fair to return the favor.

 Intrada by Henry Purcell.

 

Wall Art

As long as the trumpets are playing, we may as well dance to the music. ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪

My personal list of charity dos and don'ts...note the personal. When we were unemployed, broke and desperate, I promised myself that when we recovered , we would NEVER turn an individual down who asked for help. This is an interesting promise to keep.

1. The most difficult to keep has been people asking for money on the street, simply because I seldom carry cash. I few months ago, a friend on Facebook posted a picture of 'Homeless Bags' or Blessing Bags'. This has been an easy solution. Our family put to together a few 'bags' and carry them in a small plastic container in our car. The following are a couple of links to different types. 

Blessing Bags for the Homeless  

Pack A Care Kit 

Caring Bags For The Homeless 

Making goody bags

Blessing Bags for the Homeless

A couple of things to know. Our bags cost a bit over $10 each to put together. Water bottles seem to be the most appreciated thing of everything we put in bag. Otherwise, we have used the type things listed on most sites, gallon ziplock bags, deodorant, toothpaste & brush, small snacks, antibacterial lotion.The first time we made the bags, we created man or woman specific bags. I would not do that again.

2. We live in California. It is always HOT. Giving money to the people collecting for the Homeless Vets is always appreciated. As is a cold bottle of water or coke for the person collecting money. 

3. People spinning signs for 8 hours on the corners of the road also appreciate cold drinks.

4. Little kids selling suckers or candy canes in parking lots will happily take a dollar or two, even if you let them keep the candy.

Enough of this.

See people one by one, as people.

I vote 'YES' to raise taxes for the arts. 

I am willing to pay more so someone else can see the doctor. I also know it is easier to give away money I never actually see. I would RATHER have the stuff that money could buy, TOO. 

The understanding that a few more dollars in my pocket won't change my life, but knowing it could make all the difference to someone else, makes it an easy choice for me. 

Finally, do I think anything above makes me a better or more deserving person than you or you or you. NO.

I don't want trumpets or accolades. I just wish people would help one another, because it is the right thing to do.

 ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪  Music off....

I'll Pray For You

If you have EVER told a sick friend, “I will pray for you,” but don’t consider the Affordable Care Act* miraculous, what were you praying for?

It is affordable insurance that cover 48mm people who don’t have access to GOOD medical care. Yet the people most opposed are middle class, white Americans WITH insurance. The people who need it least want to continue the trend where those who have the least get nothing.

But, don’t forget, they’ll “Pray for you.” 

If God really was going to answer our prayers for the sick, short of spontaneous recovery of all the sick, everywhere, what should it look like? Smoke and mirrors? Thunder and lightning? Rivers running red? Oh wait, that’s supposed to be the ‘end of times guy’.

Maybe, instead, it is cheaper prescriptions for the elderly (and everyone else, by the way). Free wellness checks and flu shots (you’re not sick, let’s keep you that way). Birth control coverage (because Joe & Judy wanting to show they love each other, affectionately (yes that means SEX), does NOT imply that they HATE God, just because they still want to be able to make the housing payment instead of raising six kids.

Then, God would get really serious. Pre-existing conditions, damn right God would cover them. How do I KNOW this?  Jesus did NOT heal the healthy, he healed the SICK!

Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world.
Red and yellow, black and white, all are precious in His sight,
Jesus loves the little children of the world.

http://www.songandpraise.org/jesus-loves-the-little-children-hymn-lyrics.htm

Yes, as a parent, himself, God understands our children still need our help at 19, 21, 24. It takes time to get established in this world and still need their parents help. Something as simple as staying of parent’s insurance plans is a no brainer for GOD. TOO bad so many compassionate, praying Christians don’t get it.

God also says, a cap on your insurance coverage is a lot like a cap on your sin limit. “Sorry Bob, that was ONE sin too many. I am cutting you off from redemption. Sincerely, GOD” To cut someone off, just when they need you most is just WRONG. 

So, the next time you tell someone, “I’ll pray for you,” ask yourself this, what are you really praying to happen? The person to get better or die quickly? The person to get the best quality healthcare available or just move on quickly so you don’t have to deal with their depressing life, anymore. 

And, most importantly, do you really just say it so you sound like you’re going to do this really wonderful thing, when really you not going to anything that improves their situation…at all.  

From a distance we all have enough, And no one is in need.
And there are no guns, no bombs, and no disease, No hungry mouths to feed.

From a distance we are instruments Marching in a common band.
Playing songs of hope, playing songs of peace. They're the songs of every man.
God is watching us. God is watching us. God is watching us from a distance.

http://www.lyricsfreak.com/b/bette+midler/from+a+distance_20016990.html

* The Affordable Care Act puts consumers back in charge of their health care. Under the law, a new “Patient’s Bill of Rights” gives the American people the stability and flexibility they need to make informed choices about their health. http://www.hhs.gov/healthcare/rights/index.html

Survival Mode

 I saw a video today where the speaker talked about 'survival mode'. This was a new phrase to me, but the concept, I realized, was not.

Survival Mode.

I think I have been in survival mode for years. This is why I NEVER post my true thoughts on Facebook, the only place I use my real name. There I am bland. I voice no opinions...on anything.

"When you're in 'Survival Mode', your focus is getting through the day in one piece...If there was really someone out there watching and listening and caring, I would have been rescued."

While it is true that the video pertains to lgbtq youth, it could and does easily transfer to abusive relationships, as well.  This is, of course, because as a whole, the entire lgbtq community has been treated as an American punching bag forever.

Lately, the emotion veil has been joined by both physical and financial issues, as well. The critical voice, that has long been shut off, echoes louder.

"You're a failure," turns into "I'm a failure," and 'Survival Mode' becomes a lonely place, indeed.

Our SNAP Challenge

The SNAP Challenge encourages participants to experience what life is like for millions of low-income Americans living on the average daily allowance of only $4! 
The SNAP Challenge

 Taking the SNAP Challenge:

Eat on $4/day for a week, a month or longer if you so choose.  Check out our sample menus to help you get started...

Experience hunger for yourself. Learn about the daily struggles faced by our hungry neighbors!

Engage others by sharing your experience. Create a blog, post to Facebook, & encourage friends to participate.

Not that long ago, our family 'participated' in the SNAP challenge. Not as willing volunteers, but rather, out of financial necessity.  As the job search stretched from weeks to months, and the dollars dropped from comfortable toward nonexistent, food became a priority.

Long full shelves emptied. Canned foods, that had sat unopened for years, were cooked up. Rice became an evening mainstay...the real, long grain, slow cooking rice. Not the delightful minute rice I had used forever. 

Our daughter, who lived near, by over bags of groceries, as did our our son at home. The younger girls just ate what was there without complaint. A surprise box of powered milk created a day of kitchen fun as we created several different homemade hot cocoas from odds and ends in the baking supplies. 

But, it can be dreary and depressing, spending day after day after day in a home waiting for some GOOD news. So we would occasionally eat out. I know! Completely shocking, appalling and unacceptable. Ask any of the so called Christians who want the poor to bury their heads in the sand, or be flogged in public. 

Being poor is a worse crime in this country than murder...just ask George Zimmerman. Or is it being black is the worse crime? I get confused.

Anyway, we learned that a family of four could eat at ARBIES, off of their Dollar Menu for $6 plus tax. Everyone would get our own sandwich. Again, with the frivolous. We would share a package of fries and a drink. Thank goodness for free refills!

Best of all, we we out in the real world, at least pretending that everything was alright. 

So, I have thought about doing the SNAP Challenge in the past couple of months, but I am not ready to go back there...yet. I didn't need to do it before, during or after our own personal challenge. Being a decent person is always the right thing to do.

And, why don't we drug test people before we allow them do donate money to uber crazy political groups that are screwing with our planet, our health, our bodies and our civil liberties?