More Lobser Dreams

Today, I got video proof that somewhere in the world, 

I still have #STUFF. 

A locker full of Christmas decorations, baby books and the random nick knacks that define our lives. All piled in the trashed out stacks of chaos by people who could care less about the memories those boxes contain.


Just days ago, we were, finally, planning our trip back across the country to gather up our belonging and bring them our to our #NewHome. 


Now, with our vacation planned in amongst the likely probability on #Joblessness by the New Year, the question hangs heavy. Do we move the remainder of our belongs out here? Then, we can sit in quiet desperation with familiar ghosts and goblins, snowmen and Santa statues.


As weeks and months pass, the likelihood of this locker being one of the first things we stop paying for is high.


Perhaps the thought that we can still bring our boxes out, means I have not quite given up. With 12 million people in this area, surely there are other jobs to be had.


In just over four weeks, we'll know for sure what happens to our lives.


That gives us another seven months to find a new amazing #CaliforniaJob. Almost as much time as it took to find this one. Surely not an #ImpossibleTask?

I still have the dream of Christmases with my tree in all it sparkling glory, set up again in my life time. Or smaller dreams of birthdays where my youngest girls get presents. Four years is way too long since they have celebrated with actual gifts.

The fact that they understand no gifts will come, makes me saddest of all. They live with the bits and piece we have left our our middle class life. Reminders that we once did alright, with the hope that we may one day be back there again.

Yes, these are more #LobsterDreams!

So, for now, I will plan to return to Minnesota and pack up my things to move them to my new home. I don't quite yet have to acknowledge I may need that moving money to live on, if fears become reality and reality stretches us to that point where we break.